I am a bad man.

Some of these hotels have the odd idea that fake plants will make people want to stay there. I try to point out that people are just going to show up and then be disappointed that there aren't any plants in their room. I tell them to expect calls from guest rooms by irate people saying "Your website shows plants in this room. Where are my plants?" and I ask them if they're prepared to put plants in every room where people ask for them. What I don't mention is that I think they're wasting my time moving these plants from room to room. I'm already there for 2 hours, I don't want to wait another 30 minutes for them to move fake plants around.

Anyway, the other day, someone had this "unique" idea again. Since the panoramas I take are a series of 12 photos in a circle, I have often moved objects like trash cans out of a shot and then moved them back again after I have moved on the the next angle. This time, I moved the plant so that it will be on the desk, night-stand, and table in the panorama. If I can remember which location it was, I'll post a link to the tour so you can see it once it's up.

I also had a sudden inspiration in a hotel restaurant while taking some still photos. I turned all of the Tobasco bottles in the room so that they faced the camera. And there will probably be several panoramas at a variety of hotels where you will be able to see my aluminum clipboard if you know where to look, but that was an accident and I almost feel bad about it.

Every night, after taking these pictures, I am supposed to upload the files to VR National using the hotel's high speed internet. Some hotels have been slow enough to take 8 hours to send one archive and some have been fast enough to send 4 files in one night. The place I'm at tonight is giving me a whopping 6.5 KB per second, that's almost as fast as dial-up folks! Sign up now! With 28 hours remaining on the upload, I don't think I'll be getting this one done on time either. The downstream speed doesn't seem all that bad though.

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08-25-2005

It seems like it would be a good idea to make a shower curtain rod out of aluminum. It's strong, lightweight and won't rust. If you throw a washcloth over it though, you are reminded about aluminum oxide the next morning.

I drove past a Hershey confection plant in Robinson, IL today. It smelled like chocolate!

Odd billboard of the day: "You never run out of minutes talking to god." It made me think of bag ladies for some reason

"Danny's Qik-Sak" liquor store. I don't think I'll be buying anything there.

And last but not least: I've seen a couple of what I'll call MHotels on this trip. They're like a motel in that you enter the room from the outside, but they're like a hotel in that you enter the room from a central hallway. Same room. Odd.

08-26-2005

I drove past Eastern Illinois University in Charleston today. They have the most impressive Old Main type building I have ever seen. It looks like a castle from a distance and like a tiny palace from close up. The central tower has crenellations on the top that give it a great, fortified look.

It sounds like Madness has a new single. Well, I don't know if it's new, but Steph has everything they've ever done and she hasn't heard of it. It's called Shame and Scandal and I heard it on WPGU 107.1 out of the University of Illinois in Champaign / Urbana. College radio stations have been a boon for me since my iPod died. I just hope there are lots of colleges around these parts.

Update:Madness has a new single and a new album. The single is indeed called Shame and Scandal and the album is called The Dangermen Sessions. Rock on! I'll be buying that one ASAP.

08-27-2005

I woke up this morning to a real visual treat: dense fog as far as the eye can see, and that's not very far. It reminds me of the mornings I drive past Lake Calhoun and see the sailboats bobbing in the fog. The photographer in me doesn't want to go to work; It's too beautiful out. Unfortunately, it's the photographer in me who's going to work today. I guess maybe that's a good thing.

08-28-2005

OK, this is just wrong: I'm driving down the Interstate and I see a roadside stand. Let me say that a different way: There's a roadside stand on the Interstate where I am driving. This is an Interstate Highway people! What are you thinking! The speed limit is 70 mph through hill and cornfield, well, OK, vineyard at this point. But how many people are going to stomp on their brakes and walk over to a stand selling grapes when semi trucks are zipping past them at 80? Enough to stay in business I guess. Yeesh!

You Can't Judge a Book by it's Cover: The place I'm staying at tonight looks like a total dive from the outside. If I were driving through the area and it was time to look for a place to stop, I'd think seriously about passing it on and looking for someplace nicer up the road. Obviously, since it's a major, international hotel franchise, the rooms themselves look like you could be anywhere in the world, and that's something that I'm slowly learning on this trip. But the point is this: The guy running the place is great. He's the nicest guy you could want to do a photo-shoot at 7:00 in the morning for. The place doesn't have coin-op laundry yet because he just bought the place a year ago and is working hard to get it up to his standards. Get this: he's letting me use the hotel's laundry facilities and he's not charging me for their use or for the detergent. Wow. And hey, I just noticed this. He's done something that I think gives the place a European Flair because Scotland is the only place I've seen it. Instead of having little bottles of shampoo and bars of soap that you just can't use all of in one shower, he's got shampoo and shower gel dispensers in the shower. Why don't more places do that? I still have my bottle of shampoo from last Saturday night's hotel. Ironically, I was planning on replaceing it with one from this hotel.

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For everyone who thinks I am a food snob: You're right, but here's some evidence to the contrary.

Typical breakfast: Whatever they have in the hotel lobby. Usually a Bagel or English muffin with Cream Cheese or Jam on it. Sometimes cold cereal and, if I'm lucky, bacon or something else warm.
Typical lunch: Maybe some beef jerky, maybe some rice crackers and wasabi peas (I mixed them because the crackers were boring), probably a ham or turkey sandwich with cheese. The sandwiches haven't had any mustard on them because (heres the non-food-snobbery bit) it just seems like too much effort: I'd have to get out a knife.
Typical dinner: Ramen or udon noodles, maybe some Yogurt, maybe some string cheese

Good Idea: Putting rose bushes along the fence separating your cornfield from the road
Bad Idea: Putting up a sign in your cornfield that says "Jesus is coming back - Jesus is coming back" without a bell tower around for hanging lanterns. To be fair, there wasn't any water around, so one lantern is probably enough.

I saw a lot of signs today. One of them was advertising "Brown Eggs" and "Goat Meat". Yum!

So, there's this town in Missouri called Lebanon. It's not pronounced the way you'd think; they swallow the last syllable so it doesn't sound like the country. But I just saw a sign for Palestine Illinois. How do you pronounce that differently? Maybe I'm not as far into the southern US as I thought. Maybe this is the middle-eastern US. Whoever named the town of Pinkstaff had a sense of humor though.

Last thing: I'm used to seeing those prairie chicken oil pumps sitting out in the middle of a [large flat noun of your choice] not running anymore because the well has gone dry. I guess they're cheap enough to let rust when you're done using them. But some people must remove them when they're done because I saw a prairie chicken and oil tank junk yard today. It looked kind of sad.

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This morning I realized that, since leaving the "show me state", I've been in two other states with no sign of a state motto. I guess those missourians need to be shown on a regular basis.

Back before Tech-TV was bought out by G4TV, then raped, then discarded like so much used tissue, they had a show called TechLive. One of the anchors was Sumi Das who also produced and hosted Fresh Gear on the same network. I just found out that she has not disappeared from the face of the earth. She has reported for MSNBC and recently left there for CNN Newsource. I saw her on CNN this morning during breakfast reporting on hydrongen fuel-cell vehicles. It's nice to know that those people found places to go.

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8-20-2005

Note to self (and anyone else who needs it): If you're heading south on I-35 through Iowa and you see a sign for gas at the next exit in Turro, you'll find that the next sign says to head West for 4 miles to get to the Kum & Go (hee, hee) in Turro. For the love of Pete, don't do it! Keep going 4 more miles south on I-35 to the next exit. There's another Kum & Go (snicker!) and when I drove past it after the 8 mile round trip to Turro, I saw that gas was 2 cents per gallon cheaper there.

First impressions on the state of Missouri: There aren't nearly as many country radio stations as I'd have expected. I actually found 3 public radio stations in Kansas City playing All Things Considered and at least one of them was receivable all the way to Clinton, where I'll be spending my first night. I actually enjoyed listening to A Prairie Home Companion. (The battery on my iPod was really low)

On the way through Kansas City, I noticed a couple of billboards advertising adult oriented establishments. One in particular had the copy: "Topless entertainment for men and women". If they openly accept women at a strip joint, I guess that's annother sign that I'm not nearly as far into Hicksville as I expected. Of course, maybe they expect that the women will either take off their own tops or that they'll be busy making sure their husband doesn't forget they're there.

There's no Internet access here and I won't be watching Nero Wolf tonight because the place doesn't have the Biography Channel, but they do have Cartoon Network and Teen Titans is one that I haven't seen before, so that's good.

Tomorrow, I have to remember to keep the digital camera in the front seat with me so that I can take pictures of the things that spark odd thoughts like these.

08-21-2005

Second Impressions of Missouri: I keep seeing places with names like "Show Me Collectables and Souvenirs" or "Show Me Church of Christ", I haven't found a "Show Me Movies or "Show Me Topless Dancers" yet though. I guess I'll keep looking.

Missouri isn't a very interesting place to drive through visualy. I know that coming from Minnesota, I'm calling the kettle black, but really, Missouri is slightly bumpier than Iowa so far. Around the Lake of the Ozarks area, there's some nice topography and roads that ride like roller-coasters and there's always the Harry S. Truman Dam and Reservoir Visitor Center operated by the US Army Corps of Engineers. Interesting architecture there.

I have learned something about satellite television though. The hotel room, I'm in has 15 channels (2 of them HBO of course) and most of them are currently displaying "searching for satellite signal" messages because the southern sky is full of severe thunderstorm. My internet connection seems to have died too so I won't be posting this until later.

08-22-2005

So anyway... It seems that the reason for Missouri to be getting bumpier is that I have entered a region called the Ozarks, apparently named after some sort of fictional mountain range. The roads have much more of that roller-coaster feeling around here, and the landscape is much prettier. The whole area reminds me of the Mississippi river valley in southern Minnesota near Red Wing and Rochester. Lots of hills to go up and down.

Remember that thing about there not being all that many country music stations? Forget it. The area I'm in now is nothing but country, christian, christian/country, and one classical station. I love my iPod!!! Thank you, friends.

I saw the damndest billboard today. It had a cross in the upper left corner and a cloud-like shape with a white-lined rectangle on top of it to the right. I thought it was God's Hockey or something. Then I saw the copy: "Jesus: Long Cheakbones, No Beard, Bangs". I actually said out-loud "what the fuck?" and made two u-turns so I could take a picture. I guess someone is trying to suggest that Jesus is female? Hmm.

As you drive east out of Perryville Missouri toward Illinois, you'll head down a long hill into the river valley and onto what once were the flood plains. There you'll see a large assembly of corrugated steel buildings on either side of the road, and along the railroad tracks there. On one of the doors is a small sign that reads "Plant Entrance, Employees Only". That was the only marking I saw on any of the buildings. I can only assume that if you work there, you work at The Plant, and you probably know what to do there. As you continue east from The Plant, you'll come to a place where the Mississippi is crossed by a simple, two-lane iron bridge and the roar of cicadas threatens to drown out the sound of your engine. Then you'll drive around in circles looking for your hotel because the directions don't make sense at this time of night.

08-23-2005

Not much of note today. As I left my hotel this morning, I splurged on a pack of chocolate-frosted mini-doughnuts and a really big Sprite. I was a little surprised to see a state lottery vending machine in the gas station there. I guess I'm not in Minnesota anymore.

I've been seeing a few oil wells here and there across the countryside, some of them have been in people's front yard. That must really suck for them. I mean, not having to work for your money and all. When I crossed the Indiana border earlier this evening, I stopped at the first rest stop to pick up a map and refill my water bottle. Now I know what they mean when they say "sweet crude". That well should have been drilled a few feet farther from the oil fields. Damn that was nasty.

Yuck!

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